2am

it usually is the lonely late nights that i'm inspired to write another blog.
the freezing cold ballarat air drives my brain into blog mode.
my lack of sleep doesn't seem to influence the fact that i'm still up writing this thing at 2am.
and it's not even important that i write it.
i hav assignments due.
lot's. heaps.
too many.
yet i'm staying up to the early hours of the morning writing my BLOG.
my blog.
honestly wat possesses me sometimes.
and now that i've started, i'm not particularly inspired to write about anything interesting.

my day consisted of sleeping, sitting, watching lots of movies, washing dishes, yelling at myself, laughing, cooking, eating, being grossed out more than once, finding the changing of colours on the tv "on/off" light very intriguing, driving, admiring my photo collage on my bedroom wall, showering, breathing, shivering....

friends make me happy.
whether i'v known them for years & years or only a month or so, they each play a role in my life.
and i find each and every one so so special to me.
Hair is not near me or able to pop in any time he likes, yet he made me the happiest i felt all day.
making spaggetti with a new but fantastic friend tonight.
knowing that Turks my most best friend, will always forever be home waiting for me.
the special few that i hold so close to my heart yet miss dearly at the moment.
and the complications that come with people, i am slowly discovering.
it's all just a little too much sometimes.
can't face hurting people.
addressing issues that would easiest be left unsaid.
trying to work out wat's happening inside my heart and mind.
and always having to be in control of my life & how i live it.
then dealing with downfalls that i sometimes wish hadn't happened.
learning to live with people.
well not really other people i suppose.
it's really learning to live with yourself.
i'm finding that hard.
i'm so annoying.
yelled a lot at myself today.
ah.
life.
how do we do it?


"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God..."
-1 Peter 5:6

Till we meet again...